A pile of course materials and notebooks with a computer mouse sitting on top.

The Benefits of Analyzing My Procrastination

I found myself sitting at the ninth month of a six-month English course having not submitted an exercise in over three months. After getting two course extensions I was desperate to figure out the causes of my seemingly chronic procrastination and distraction. I had started the course well enough, completed the exercises faster than the recommended timeline, and was on target to complete the course in four or five months. Then the wheels fell off, and I found myself in the ninth month with two course units and a final exam remaining. I am not normally known as a procrastinator, and I was enjoying the course content and the mental stretching it was giving me. So, what contributed to this breakdown of my normally good habits?

The first big thing that came to mind came in mid-July when I went in for neck surgery. I was anticipating a quick recovery, as it was a simple “repair job” on a previous surgery that was causing problems. But the recovery sent me for a loop, to the point where I spent three weeks just lying in bed doing nothing except complaining. I can point to that event as the initial cause of my deviation from the recommended course timeline. I did not look at the textbook again until the second week of August when I submitted my next assignment.

A couple of weeks into August, our entire family went to Toronto to attend my niece’s wedding. At a family brunch the next day, my brother asked me if I would be interested in doing some coding on a project he was putting together. I had not done any serious programming in the six years since I retired. The prospect excited me, and I indicated I would be happy to help. I jumped into the project, working every day to put together a proper back-end system to support the functionality required. I completely forgot about the English course, fully absorbed in this new challenge. At the beginning of September, the final month of the course, I resigned myself to get the first extension, which gave me until November for completion. I kept the course textbook on my desk and convinced myself that I would have time once I had done just a little more on the project, which proved to be a major miscalculation.

Over the summer, my wife and I discussed doing a major renovation of our home. We wanted to get rid of the carpet upstairs, re-work our bathroom to replace the too-large bathtub (my wife could not even get in the monster that was there) and make our closets more functional. We talked about the project with one of our friends, an interior designer with her own company, and floated the ideas with her. She called in early September and asked if we were interested in starting the project in October. That decision sent all hope of timely course completion out the window. Our lives were turned upside down, as the entire upper floor of our house, including our office, went into storage. The project experienced some delays, and of course, we expanded the scope, so it will not be completed until Christmas. We still live on the main floor, amid plastic-draped chaos, with constant noise and tradespeople coming and going. Somewhere in the middle of October, I obtained another extension, realizing there was no way to complete the course by the end of November.

Last week I pulled up the course outline and checked out where I stood. I realized I had just two more units to complete, with nothing except the chaos around me holding me back. I went through the process of brainstorming how I had gotten to my current state. That process of reflection gave me clarity on the effect distractions can have on goal achievement. I had let events around me lead me astray from a path focused on completing my course in a reasonable amount of time. Once I identified that root cause, I knew that I needed to create time and space free from distraction, setting aside the chaos around me to allow myself to properly focus. I put aside the guilt and persistent feelings of failure, re-oriented my thoughts on finishing strong, and picked up the notebook to start the course again.

a white-crowned sparrow

Birds and Happiness

A recent article in The Guardian caught my eye, talking about the impact birds and birdsong have on a person’s mental health – a very interesting read.

One of my favourite things about our place in Athabasca (80 acres of Boreal forest in northern Alberta) is the number of birds that frequent our bird feeders there. I love listening to the chickadees, sparrows, waxwings, and finches singing away every morning. It lifts my spirits in a very simple and tangible way.

The piece talks about the effect listening to or watching birds has on depression – it can be difficult to motivate a person to exercise (the most common way to release endorphins), but much simpler to expose them to birds. Most people describe their feelings as “joy” after hearing birds singing. I would describe my feelings as “comfort, peace, serenity” as I sit in my armchair, strategically placed so I can see the bird feeder amidst the trees.

This life can be complex and finding simple pleasures can be challenging. Taking time to watch birds dance and flit about, singing their simple songs, can be a retreat from stress.

Photo by Brian Yurasits on Unsplash

trapped inside


To be this age, in this time
STUCK in-side/in-self

How many things lost:
time, experience, life      (stolen)

Work is done, play on hold:
life diminished

I’m looking for (re)growth
Is this a gift?
(over) a year spent recovering

recovering my peace
reconnecting to MY self
rediscovering the love around me

The work is this new life
Not life lost but experienced

finding joy in solitude
exhuming peace from frustration
exploring self, in my lover’s eyes


notebook and coffee

Featured Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash

workout space in the den
My Tiny Workout Space

Using Home Workouts to Fight That “COVID Zombie” State!

I finished my first home workout in 10 months yesterday. I know that seems like forever, but COVID! I also had foot surgery that took me out of “circulation” for over five months. Plus we moved, and other “reasons.”

I turned 60 this year, and I am very aware of just how fast the body declines when inactive – I could feel myself sliding further into the “couch-potato/COVID zombie” zone as the months passed.

Yesterday I finally strapped on (new) runners and hooked up with my personal trainer, Omar, for a first-go-round at trying to get back at the fitness thing. Luckily my trainer uses virtual training, so I set up my Canon DSLR as a webcam hooked to my laptop, pumped the Zoom video to the big-screen, and plugged in a pair of sport earbuds.

I’ve got a pretty simple but effective exercise space set up in our den, with a cheap folding bike, a portable bench, adjustable weights, and a suspension strap that hooks over the bathroom door. My foot surgery makes lunges (and anything else where I have to bend my toes forward) nearly impossible, so we had to adjust things a little bit.

After a quick couple of miles on the bike to warm up, we got at it.

First, up (after figuring out the whole toe-bending limits thing) was three sets of goblet-squats, side-ways lunges, and airplane balances, interspersed with half-mile bike “cool-downs.” I got to use one of the adjustable weights for the goblets, making them pretty much a thigh-burner. After the first airplane set, my PT added a 10-pound weight to the offset leg to make it more interesting (read: almost impossible).

The second set used the suspension strap for body-weight rowing, then swapping for resistance bands on the suspension system to do some chest presses and kneeling pull-downs, wrapping up with a plank. I managed all that pretty well, even pulling off three 30-second planks (I could only do 20 when I first started workouts last year).

All this in about 40 minutes – which left me entirely spent. I had to stare at the stairs for a while before gaining the courage to attempt to climb them. It turns out I had forgotten how to breathe, especially during the lower-body work. I was pretty good during the final set but had to sit and gasp for a bit halfway through the first. Thankfully Omar was “All good – take your time!”

I was smart enough that I had eaten two hours prior, so lots of energy, but my body was “What the hell was that, Dave!!” Even after we ran out of time after two run-throughs of the final set I managed to finish the final triplet on my own. 

It’s now Friday morning, the day after, and my muscles are complaining mightily. But at the same time, it feels fantastic! I feel like I have more energy already (probably endorphins or something) and am looking forward to the next workout. Now I am regretting putting it off for so long. The longer I delayed, the more guilty I felt, and the less motivated I was to get back to it. The fact that I still had seven paid sessions with my PT was the final push to get me back to it.

Procrastination may be a profound (un)motivator, but wasting money proved to be a more powerful force! I couldn’t NOT use those sessions up!

Our bodies are a gift, and it is far too easy to take them for granted. Here’s to staying out of that “COVID Zombie” state for a while!

The Rock


This is a guest post, graciously allowed by its author, Paige Woodbury. Her willingness to share her relationship with her inner self is inspiring. To see it on her personal blog, I have included the link here.

A pinch from the inside,
a small pull at the thread,
that sense comes creeping in.
No control, not even of flesh,
twisted into knots and stuck standing stiff, heavy, unsure.
Pulling at my hair, begging for the ground –

the rock.

I wonder.

My mind has taken me this far, how far can it go?
Can I carry this rock with me up a steep hill?
Every hill?
Do I push, do I pull?
How far can the body and mind stretch and bend?
If I change,
what will come of this life of trails that I’ve carved?
My familiarity, nostalgia, dug deep into the forest floor of my mind.
mossy, musty, heavy-hearted,


How do I make way for light?
To tap into the abyss and knock out darkness,
when it is weighed ten times more.
With darkness do you cradle it, comfort it,
assume the role of mother?
Do you belittle it?
Break it down and bully it?

A torturous goal it is, to create like this.
To challenge and question.
I’m sure one day I’ll hear the voice,
chiming in “you’re alright, keep going”.
And I’ll be partners with my darkness, carrying it alongside me,
I’ll create, and live, despite it.

I’m sure.
One day I’ll find the beauty in my darkness,

the rock.

– P. W.

The Gift of Time

The Gift of Time

I read an article last week that charted changes in Canadian life expectancy since 1921. If I had been born in that year, the odds are good that I would already be dead. The average life expectancy of a person born in 1921 was 57, a milestone I reached last year.

canadian life expectancy

By the time I was born, in 1960, life expectancy had grown to 70 years, and now, a child born in Canada can expect to live to be in their mid-eighties. What a fantastic gift that is. Continue reading “The Gift of Time”

Two people on a bench

Being Aware: Compatibility’s Key

I believe my spouse is so much better at understanding and describing how relationships work than I. The fact that I am aware of that may be the key to our compatibility over 25 years.

Last night we were talking about relationships, as one of our daughters enters a new one after several years of single life. I wondered out loud what makes people compatible, despite being entirely different personalities. I used our relationship as an example.

My partner, as is their gift, got straight to the “meat” of it.

“We know what little things drive each other crazy, and we avoid doing those things around each other. We care about, and are aware of, who we each are and what makes us happy.”

What an excellent example of what can make being together either stress-free or intolerable. The simple act of being aware of each other can make all the difference. Continue reading “Being Aware: Compatibility’s Key”