Close
trapped inside

UN/STUCK

To be this age, in this time
STUCK in-side/in-self

How many things lost:
time, experience, life      (stolen)

Work is done, play on hold:
life diminished

I’m looking for (re)growth
Is this a gift?
(over) a year spent recovering
reconnecting
rediscovering

recovering my peace
reconnecting to MY self
rediscovering the love around me

The work is this new life
Not life lost but experienced

finding joy in solitude
exhuming peace from frustration
exploring self, in my lover’s eyes

                       UNSTUCK

notebook and coffee

Featured Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash

workout space in the den
My Tiny Workout Space

Using Home Workouts to Fight That “COVID Zombie” State!

I finished my first home workout in 10 months yesterday. I know that seems like forever, but COVID! I also had foot surgery that took me out of “circulation” for over five months. Plus we moved, and other “reasons.”

I turned 60 this year, and I am very aware of just how fast the body declines when inactive – I could feel myself sliding further into the “couch-potato/COVID zombie” zone as the months passed.

Yesterday I finally strapped on (new) runners and hooked up with my personal trainer, Omar, for a first-go-round at trying to get back at the fitness thing. Luckily my trainer uses virtual training, so I set up my Canon DSLR as a webcam hooked to my laptop, pumped the Zoom video to the big-screen, and plugged in a pair of sport earbuds.

I’ve got a pretty simple but effective exercise space set up in our den, with a cheap folding bike, a portable bench, adjustable weights, and a suspension strap that hooks over the bathroom door. My foot surgery makes lunges (and anything else where I have to bend my toes forward) nearly impossible, so we had to adjust things a little bit.

After a quick couple of miles on the bike to warm up, we got at it.

First, up (after figuring out the whole toe-bending limits thing) was three sets of goblet-squats, side-ways lunges, and airplane balances, interspersed with half-mile bike “cool-downs.” I got to use one of the adjustable weights for the goblets, making them pretty much a thigh-burner. After the first airplane set, my PT added a 10-pound weight to the offset leg to make it more interesting (read: almost impossible).

The second set used the suspension strap for body-weight rowing, then swapping for resistance bands on the suspension system to do some chest presses and kneeling pull-downs, wrapping up with a plank. I managed all that pretty well, even pulling off three 30-second planks (I could only do 20 when I first started workouts last year).

All this in about 40 minutes – which left me entirely spent. I had to stare at the stairs for a while before gaining the courage to attempt to climb them. It turns out I had forgotten how to breathe, especially during the lower-body work. I was pretty good during the final set but had to sit and gasp for a bit halfway through the first. Thankfully Omar was “All good – take your time!”

I was smart enough that I had eaten two hours prior, so lots of energy, but my body was “What the hell was that, Dave!!” Even after we ran out of time after two run-throughs of the final set I managed to finish the final triplet on my own. 

It’s now Friday morning, the day after, and my muscles are complaining mightily. But at the same time, it feels fantastic! I feel like I have more energy already (probably endorphins or something) and am looking forward to the next workout. Now I am regretting putting it off for so long. The longer I delayed, the more guilty I felt, and the less motivated I was to get back to it. The fact that I still had seven paid sessions with my PT was the final push to get me back to it.

Procrastination may be a profound (un)motivator, but wasting money proved to be a more powerful force! I couldn’t NOT use those sessions up!

Our bodies are a gift, and it is far too easy to take them for granted. Here’s to staying out of that “COVID Zombie” state for a while!

The Rock

 

This is a guest post, graciously allowed by its author, Paige Woodbury. Her willingness to share her relationship with her inner self is inspiring. To see it on her personal blog, I have included the link here.

A pinch from the inside,
a small pull at the thread,
that sense comes creeping in.
No control, not even of flesh,
twisted into knots and stuck standing stiff, heavy, unsure.
Pulling at my hair, begging for the ground –

the rock.

I wonder.

My mind has taken me this far, how far can it go?
Can I carry this rock with me up a steep hill?
Every hill?
Do I push, do I pull?
How far can the body and mind stretch and bend?
If I change,
what will come of this life of trails that I’ve carved?
My familiarity, nostalgia, dug deep into the forest floor of my mind.
mossy, musty, heavy-hearted,

dirt.

How do I make way for light?
To tap into the abyss and knock out darkness,
when it is weighed ten times more.
With darkness do you cradle it, comfort it,
assume the role of mother?
Do you belittle it?
Break it down and bully it?

A torturous goal it is, to create like this.
To challenge and question.
I’m sure one day I’ll hear the voice,
chiming in “you’re alright, keep going”.
And I’ll be partners with my darkness, carrying it alongside me,
I’ll create, and live, despite it.

I’m sure.
One day I’ll find the beauty in my darkness,

the rock.
                                        

– P. W.